Just the Right Amount of Dumbness 傻得剛剛好
The other day someone said, "Your spouse-seeking announcement is well done. Should I also write one like you?"
那天有人說，“你的徵婚啟事不錯，我是不是也應該學妳去寫一篇？”
I thought to myself: No, I've never written a spouse-seeking announcement. Why would he think so?
我想想，沒寫過徵婚啟事呀？
It turned out he took my article “Am I a Superwoman? The Other Side of Being a Superwoman-The Story about My Marriage and Divorce” as a spouse-seeking announcement.
原來他是把我那篇《我是女神？及我是女神之另一面》看成徵婚啟事了。
Then I thought to myself, if I really were to write an announcement, it would probably go like this:
再一想，我要真寫徵婚啓事，大概會是這樣的：
It is just me. I am seeking a male Falun Dafa disciple who is like-minded and well cultivated to spend the rest of my life.
就是我吧，願尋一名條件相當、修煉有素的男性大法弟子相伴前行。
My virtues: Except for my shortcomings, I have virtues in all other aspects.
我的優點：除了缺點外都是優點。
My shortcomings: Except for my virtues, all others are my shortcomings.
我的缺點：除了優點外都是缺點。
My self-perceived virtues: I am dumb and affluent, and I never make trouble or fuss around with anything.
我自認爲的優點：人傻錢多事兒少。
My self-perceived shortcomings: I am extremely dumb. I am not very good at taking care of myself or others. If you are looking for a person who can take care of your life needs, I am definitely not a good candidate. But if you love to take care of others, I may be able to give you many opportunities ...
我自認爲的缺點：人特傻，不太會照顧自己，也不太會顧家或照顧別人。如果您是想找個會過日子的、能照顧您生活的，那我肯定不合適。如果您很愛很會照顧別人，那我可能能給您很多機會……
However, don’t you be frightened. I have been living alone for more than ten years. I haven’t done any damage to myself. I didn’t break my arms or get one leg missing or something. On the contrary, I have gained more tha 10 pounds, and am looking more afluent and prosperous than ever…
不過，您也別被嚇到。我獨自生活十幾年了，不但毫髮無損，沒少條胳膊缺個腿之類的，反而長了十幾膀，看起來挺大富大貴的呢……
I can’t help laughing when reaching this point. Am I really seeking a spouse, or trying to scare people away?
寫到這裏，我自己忍不住噗嗤笑了起來，這是想徵婚呢？還是想把人都嚇跑呢？
Now let me get serious. To marry, or not to marry, it is really a quesiton.
你別說，結婚，還是不結婚，這真是個問題。
Looking back over the past years, there have only been three occasions when I thought I should get married.
想起來，這些年來覺得應該結婚，一共只有三次：
Occasion No. 1: When my mom pushed me really hard.
第一次：被老媽逼急了的時候；
Occasion No. 2: When there was sand in my eye and nobody was there to help me to get it out.
第二次：眼睛裏進了沙子沒人吹的時候；
Occasion No. 3: When I got too tired after shoveling the snow and realized that women do have much less physical strength than men, and shoveling the snow is not something for a woman to do…
第三次：鏟雪鏟到實在弄不動了，覺得女子不如男的時候。
Most of the time, I feel that I am a person whose heart and mind often drift out of this world, and I may not make a good wife at all. If that is the case, why should I marry?
大部分時候，覺得自己根本就不是個過日子、不是個好妻子的料，那還結個什麼婚呢，是吧？
Furthermore, where can I find a person who is dumb enough to fall in love with dumb me, but not too dumb to the point that I can’t fall in love with him?
而且，上哪裏去找一個傻得能看上我，又不至於傻得讓我看不上的人呢？
I suddenly remembered the lines in the Korean drama “Guardian: The Lonely and Great God”: “The time with you is all amazing, regardless of whether the weather is good, bad, or just about right."
寫到這裏，又想起韓劇《鬼怪》中的臺詞：“跟你在一起的時光都很耀眼，因為天氣好，因為天氣不好，因為天氣剛剛好。”
So if I borrow this line, is there a person who has just the right amount of dumbness?
套用一下，就是有那麼一個傻得剛剛好的人嗎？
Of course, the most important factor is: Has God arranged for me such a dumb man who is just a right match for the same dumb me?
當然，最關鍵的是，神有沒有給我安排這麼一個傻味相投的人呢？
4/9/2021
（這張圖還是要幫攝影師Olivia Jingyi做下广告。拍得不錯吧？她的預設就是要把我個老太婆拍出少女感來，她非說我有……）
